Teachable Moments and Rewards

Dave Says –

Dear Dave,

My mother passed away recently, and I received $200,000 as an inheritance. I’m a single dad, and I’d like to share some of the money with my 28-year-old daughter. But I’m worried about doing this, because she’s sometimes impulsive and immature with money. How do you think I should approach the situation?

Jimmy

Dear Jimmy,

I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. God bless you and your family during this hard time.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t like the idea of just handing your daughter money when you already know she’s impulsive—especially if you’re considering giving her a large amount. I’ve learned over the years that gifting money to someone who’s financially irresponsible is not a good plan. So many people think everything would be better if they only had more money. But this isn’t generally the case. I urge you to stop and ask yourself if you believe you’d really be helping this young woman by simply giving her a bunch of money.

In my mind, you’ve got several options here. I mean, it’s your money now. But considering what you’ve told me about your daughter, I’d recommend attaching a few strings to her getting anything. Set up guidelines designed to improve her behavior in some areas. Then, you could give her the money if she meets the requirements. Don’t make her jump through a bunch of hoops for no reason, though. I’m talking about things that will show her how to live a more productive and responsible life—financially and as a mature adult, in general.

I think this is fair to you both. It’s also a way to create good teachable moments between a father and daughter. And, if she takes an attitude or flat out refuses to accept your offer, you can always just hang on to the money until she grows up a little.

— Dave