We might think that we don’t let people influence us. We live in an individualistic country and so we’re independent thinkers, right? The Bible seems to indicate otherwise, and I believe if we look back on periods of our life where we changed, we might see it too. Of course, we don’t always want to change or even notice it sometimes, but it can happen regardless. Fortunately, the Bible gives us wisdom for how to change positively by learning from others!

The easiest way to learn from others would be to look at their examples, following the positive examples and avoiding the negative ones (1 Corinthians 10:11; 1 John 2:6). Why would we want to make the same poor decisions when we can clearly see that someone else already did and suffered from doing them? However, if you’re like me, you might be a little hard-headed at times and need some other help.

Listening to advice can give great assistance also, but we should be careful in how we do this. I used to think that Proverbs 19:20 told the whole story with this, which says: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” However, as you may know, even Christians can give some lousy advice sometimes and other times you may receive conflicting advice. What should you do?

Proverbs 24:6 says that by WISE counsel you can wage war and that in the ABUNDANCE of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 11:14 states it a little differently, saying that in the abundance of counselors there is safety. It may take some discernment to understand who is giving wise counsel and how to come to the best conclusion if we’re receiving a lot of counsel. However, a wise man listens to advice (Proverbs 12:15) and so should we!

The last sermon which taught us how to learn about others seems very useful at this point, because it helps us to discern who would (probably) be giving the best advice. Proverbs 12:5 teaches us that “the thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.” People might even give us poor advice intentionally, potentially to benefit themselves (for example, salespeople). From this verse, it seems that if we can judge people’s righteousness or wickedness, we can tell if they are probable sources of good advice or not.

Keep in mind that the best advice might not be exactly what we want to hear. Proverbs 27:5-6 says that “faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” A godly friend might hurt our feelings in order to help us make the right decision. Keep in mind though that the “righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26). It’s better to follow a guide that knows what they’re doing rather than someone who just makes us feel good.

Finally, we can learn from others simply by spending time with those who are wise in God’s sight. Proverbs 13:20 teaches us that “whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” We must engage the world as Jesus did to affect them positively, but we must be aware that they can (and do) affect us negatively. Therefore, we need to surround ourselves with wise, godly people and interact with others in limited doses. 

Why not decide that we need to change and do better? “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice” (Proverbs 12:15).